Minds are like Parachutes - They only function when opened.
"Jesus Saves" The Goddess Invests!
What's the best thing about Pagan friends?
They worship the ground you walk on
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? 
He sold his soul to Santa
"He is YOUR God, They are YOUR rules, YOU bnrn in Hell"
What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid?
Someone who worships the tree that is not there.
What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid
mathematician?  Someone who worships the square roots of the
tree that is not there.
What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist and a Druid
veternarian? Someone who worships the bark of the tree
that is not there.
What do ya' call 13 Witches in a hot tub? - Self-Cleaning Coven
Get a taste for religion, lick a Witch
The Goddess is alive and she ate my homework
Please hold. All muses are busy right now, but your
inspiration is important to us...
How many Garnerians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Can't say.  It's oathbound
How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Same number as Gardnerians.
What kind of furniture does a Goddess worshipper prefer? 
Why did the Wiccan novitiate give up pork?
She thought the Rede said, "Chew what you will,
but ham-none."
What's the difference between New Age and Pagan?
About $500.00 a weekend.
"Dyslexics of the world Untie"
How many Dianacs does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.
Please don't squeeze the shaman!
When God Created Men She must have been Drunk and Horny!
How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb???
None if a candle was good enough for Gramma it's good
enough for me!
"Confuscious say man who sits alone in church,
sits in his own pew."
"Confuscious say man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
What is a witch's favorite snack?  PAN pizza
What's a witch's favorite subject in school?   SPELLing.
Load EXOR.SYS (Y/N)***

When that happens, and EXOR.SYS doesn't work,
do you 'ascii'  a priest?
And with spirits, you can get slimed. With a posessed HD,
do you get  'giu'ed??
If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
Sign in a Wiccan Bookstore: "No Shoplifting!
Offenders will be Possessed! Second-time Offenders will be
What is one thing you never have to worry about?
Your airplane being hijacked by a group of radical Unitarians.

Definition of Irish Diplomacy; The Art of telling a man to go to hell, so that he actually looks forward to the trip.
A sign with a dagger on it in a bookstore:
"Shoplifters will be merrily hacked to pieces!"
How many Druids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in stone circles.
How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen; one to hold the bulb, and twelve to drink enough
to make the room spin.
How many ceremonial magicians does it take to change a light bulb? One; he stands still with the bulb, and the universe
revolves around him.
How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Crowley never wrote a book about it.
What do Thelemites do for foreplay? The LBRP.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
A squirrel is just a rat with good P.R.
" I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures "
"Jesus is coming. Look Busy!"
"Jesus saves! By using double coupons & shopping wisely"
WASP...We Are Sexy Pagans
Misspellers of the world, unit!
Ankh if you love Isis!!
Domineering, coldhearted, vicious bitch seeks submissive,
warmhearted, caring man for INTENSE love/hate relationship!
What do you call a dating club for unattached Wiccans?
Craft singles!
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, one not to change it.
How many Zen Masters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The universe changes the light bulb & the Zen Master
  gets the fuck out of the way!
"Sorry I wasn't in church last Sunday, but I was practicing witchcraft and  becoming a lesbian"
That was Zen; this is Tao.
Why did the Zen Buddhist get reincarnated as a Pizza Supreme?
He wanted to be one with everything.

Jesus saves...but Gretsky catches the rebound!
He shoots! HE SCOOORES!

* MM = Merry Meet*
Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons*
Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate,
because we are all related.*
Red = South
Green = West
Dark Brown = North
Yellow = East
Orange = For the Solar God
Light Brown = For the Earth Mother (Copper Woman)
* Rotate the M & M:
M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven
3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon W = Witchcraft
Wiccan E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate*
"Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"
God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate.
Also, God/dess will take care of you.*
Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love of the God and Goddess is!






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